


When Singing Saved the Day

by verilix



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Disney, Evil Fog, Gen, The Author Regrets Everything, The Falkland Islands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-07
Updated: 2013-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-24 01:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/628757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verilix/pseuds/verilix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers and the inhabitants of the Falkland Islands save said islands from an evil fog by singing Disney songs.</p><p>No, seriously, that is what happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Singing Saved the Day

**Author's Note:**

> I have never been to the Falkland Islands. I apologise unreservedly for every single error that has no doubt occurred. Also, I have made up everything, including protocol for evil fog.
> 
> I'm so sorry.
> 
> The evil fog was inspired by (quite possibly lifted from) Celia Rees' The Reliquary Ring', which is a pretty good book if you don't mind a sort of religiousy sci-fi thing.

Sometimes, the Avengers were sent out to charity events. Sometimes, they were sent out to press conferences. And sometimes, when there was a problem too big, too out-of-this-world for any regular army or team to handle, they were sent out to fight.

This wasn’t quite any of those.

At 11:00 FKT last night the UK’s Ministry of Defence reported a “strange fog” around 750 kilometres to the east of the Falkland Islands.

At 11:30 FKT, satellite imagery determined it to be a thick black fog that was approaching said islands against the wind and against the tide, sparking the first suspicions that it was no natural occurrence. 

At 11:45 FKT, one of the RAF Typhoons was sent to try and ascertain the true nature of the fog, but on approach at 00:30 FKT all contact was lost and the plane reclassified as missing presumed lost.

That was when SHIELD offered the services of the Avengers. Even Director Fury was getting involved to smooth over any diplomatic difficulties.

Steve pored over the limited information available – nearly 3000 islanders in danger from fog – and resigned himself to being useful only in the event of an evacuation. The serum might have given him strength, speed, and agility but he couldn’t exactly punch out _fog_. This fight belonged to Bruce and Tony as the brains of the team, and all he could do was help organise the evacuation if it became necessary.

By the time they got there, it was just about 01:00 FKT and Steve was glad he didn’t get as tired as he used to. In New York it was just about 23:00 so as far as the team was concerned it was the end of the day, not the beginning, and he knew by the end of this they would all be running on fumes. But as Tony and Bruce made their way to – well, wherever the officials were taking them – he took the opportunity to look out east. He couldn’t see the fog, it was too dark for that.

Then Iron Man went speeding past, straight towards the fog.

Maybe an hour passed before he was speeding back, an hour of no communication (because of course Tony was of the opinion it was better to ask forgiveness than permission) and some peculiar results from the satellites, but Tony did return. Typically, as he flipped up the faceplate he was grinning like a loon and gesturing for the team, plus Fury, plus their assigned liaison officer, to come over and listen to him.

“No, no, no,” he said, cutting off whatever Fury was about to say, “this is so cool, I can’t believe this is going to be this cool, we have to sing.”

“I beg your pardon?” Fury replied.

“Out there, I had my speakers on, you know, little bit of light entertainment, also trying to piss off anyone who was in there enough to get them to stick their heads out – oh, come on Steve, it’s worked before – and it stopped,” he explained. “So, I tried with just noise, a few simple tones, and it totally ignored it, carried on coming. Then I sang, and yes I do have a very good voice, thank you very much, and it _backed off_. Seriously the retreat you registered? All me.”

“Right,” Fury said, fully used to the total weirdness of the world after having worked with the Avengers for three years. “So we sing.”

“What songs does everyone know?” Natasha asked.

“Um – _Star Spangled Banner_?” Steve said, then felt a little bit like punching himself in the head.

“Steve, we’re in the Falklands,” she told him pityingly. “We need something a bit more universal.”

“Disney,” Clint told them. “Everyone knows Disney.”

“Like Snow White? Pinocchio?” Steve said helplessly.

Their liaison officer just looked at them like they were mentally deficient. Steve didn’t blame him.

“Excuse me, could you just repeat that please?” he asked politely.

“Disney songs, motherfucker, do you know them?”

“Well, yes, of course, I have two children,” he replied. “Are you seriously expecting the islanders to turn out and start singing Disney songs to get rid of an evil fog? That belongs in a movie, not in real life.”

“Look,” Tony told him. “If you can get the islanders to come and sing with us, then me and Bruce will have enough time to construct a containment field that will get rid of that fog for good. Okay?”

Looking more than a little dubious at the thought of such a scheme, the officer closed his eyes, stood up straight, and looked Director Fury straight in the eye.

“I cannot risk the safety of these people unless we are certain that this will work. Director Fury, I am asking you for honesty. Will this work?”

“From the evidence I’ve got, yes. And I have faith that they will make this work,” was the serious reply.

“Well, this is going to be interesting to explain,” the officer said with a wry smile. “Give me ten minutes, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work we go!” Tony sang as he walked away, giving off a maniacal cackle as he pulled Bruce along.

Thirty minutes later, the black fog almost upon East Falkland, Steve found himself standing on the coast belting out _Whistle While You Work_ , sharing a sheet of paper with Natasha and Clint that gave them them the lyrics to the next song, _Beauty and the Beast_. Already they’d performed _A Whole New World_ and _We Are Men_ , and after they’d sung _Just Can’t Wait to be King_ they’d cycle back round to sing the same five songs over again. 

They weren’t alone.

Most of the children under eighteen had been evacuated to West Falkland along with one of their parents, so that if the worst happened they could then be evacuated to the mainland. Some of the over-sixteens had refused to go, and he could see them dotted about. Some of the around 150 from West Falkland had made their way over after hearing about the effort, so there was a pretty good turnout at Menguera Point and a place just north of it over the Berkley Sound, both of which having been set up with bonfires and refreshments to keep the singers singing.

As the fog came closer and closer, Steve could feel his heart sink in his chest. Fear settled heavy in his stomach and he wanted to run as far away as he could – he could see the same in the islanders, in his teammates, and a tiny spark in the back of his head told him that this was the fog talking, not him.

So he sang louder, slightly off-key considering he was almost shouting by this point, and Natasha and Clint followed his example. Their reward? As the islanders sang louder and louder, fuelled by fear and courage, the fog stopped and began to retreat.

It didn’t retreat far, but it was enough to spur the islanders on and they sang out with whatever they had in them. Songs from their childhood, or from their children’s childhood, gave them a power they didn’t quite understand with their familiarity and the stories behind them. People darted between the singers with water and hot tea to keep them awake and their throats clear, and they held whatever that fog was back with voice and hope.

With only fifteen minutes until dawn, Tony and Bruce emerged with an incredibly ugly device, all wires and metal and – well, technology. Tony was screeching out the last of Just Can’t Wait to be King with an obnoxiousness unique to someone who knows they can sing well, but can’t be bothered to, and Bruce was surprisingly joining in with him. Steve couldn’t be annoyed. His throat was sore and he was tired now, so he felt that Tony had every right to be a pain as long as he got rid of that stupid fog.

As the pair began pressing buttons on the device, the sun rose over the horizon. With a disgustingly animalistic shudder, the fog fell apart and dissolved in the light leaving the Avengers and the islanders a little bemused, but very, very relieved.

“Huh,” Tony said. “Guess we don’t need the containment field after all.”

EPILOGUE:

“Hey, does this mean we’re now a boyband?” Tony piped up.

“Tony? Shut up,” Fury replied.


End file.
